Saturday, 26 November 2011
You're about as easy as a nuclear war........
'Come into the office.....I need to talk to you....' Hmmm what on earth could this be all about me thinks....this scenario was what I experienced this week ....hauled into Management's office to discuss my massive fall out with a member of staff....suffice it to say I had no idea what said management member was talking about. So there I was stood, I refused to sit, in front of a guy with the man management skill of Steve MaClaren, being accused of bullying someone.
Got me thinking.....jokey, sarcastic sweary me is quite a bundle to handle but what people rarely see is reflective, deep, thinking me...why is that? Maybe that me would be easier to work with?
The boys I work with get more of me than my colleagues....more real Laura. They get me, the rebel, the question everything, the it's ok to laugh, it's ok to talk.... me. They respond well to real people.
Not long ago I had a young lad in my form, he was a very troubled boy, autistic coupled with mental health issues, he is no longer at our school, special provision means he is now in a safe centre and getting the help he needs....this lad self harmed and had no emotional connections, was unable to feel emotion and yet one day in form time he came in and looked at me, I was most unhappy that day, difficult lessons, and recent events in my personal life were beginning to show...'Miss are you ok? You feel very black......' he came up to my desk and just offered his hand...amazing moment...this poor troubled boy showed empathy...a huge thing. He stroked my hand and went and sat down...goes to show that even when your mind starts to work against you there is always something that you have, that something that makes you real.
This same boy walked across the playground with me one day....it was Children In Need day...all staff were dressed as 'famous people'....I was Amy Winehouse....skinny jeans, fake tats...heavy make up and a massive black wig....he asked my friend who I was...'Well look at Miss...she has a beehive, tattoos etc...who could she be?....Much thinking....'Er Whinnie The Pooh??' brilliant. (Beehive....get it?)
It is a shame that as adults we do not allow these natural emotions and skills to come through in our daily life.
The bullying issue is resolved....I am not a bully apparently.....I know that, I am many things but a bully I am not...fucking bully? Jeez.
As a consequence of this other Laura kicked in.....reflective, deep and thinking Laura.....I am a bit of a handful, I do question everything, I do get angry, I do respond to injustice...I am chaotic, I am real, if this makes me as easy to deal with as a nuclear war well sobeit...........BANG!