My Blog List

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Moving, just keep moving

Well hello blog thing been a while I've been terribly busy you see. Moved house and changed jobs. The house move went as well as house moves go, no drama breakages or tears so happy to report the house move went well. Now in a happy, groovy house that gives good vibes and when all the crap has been thrown away will be a peaceful place to be.

The new job is, well, interesting to say the least. I am now working in a pupil referral unit, a school for kids who have either been let down or have chosen the wrong path, other schools have kicked them out so they come to us, ferral and unwilling.

It's a strange feeling, I found myself hankering for the old job, the comfort blanket of mainstream education, friends, pupils I knew, a curriculum I understood....boundaries and rules. To be honest I disliked my old job but day one at my new job made me wish I was back there, safe in the sameness of it all, the familiarity of it all, the easiness of it all.

My role is now very different, it's everything I love about alternative education but it scares me. My primary role is mentoring, caring and maintaining a relationship. The key word is engagement, I have to engage these young people enough for them to come back, it's a huge responsibilty which I should relish but it scares me. My teaching role is, well, very different, no monitoring as such, no assessment as such, it's all about engagement. I have dreamt of roles that provide these things, a groovy way to save the lost youth. 'lessons' or sessions as they are known are 3 hours long, the wisdom in that is slightly squiffy as many of the young people have attention difficulties and to sustain their engagement for 3 hours at a time is a massive task.

I have visited lost kids in their homes, a task that frankly I found quite harrowing. Mothers crying, mothers begging me to take their child away, mothers wanting their child to go to prison to give them a break...real life is no stranger to me, I worked for a building firm years ago, we were tasked with refurbing tower blocks in South East London...I have seen real life before but somehow this is different, somehow this has affected me more than I really expected.

I have so far been lucky, the young people I have met have trusted me and after some work away from the unit they have agreed to come in, take a risk and try education again. Why aren't you pleased I hear you cry? They trust me.....the only adult in years that they have decided to take a punt on, it's about our relationship now, not the schools or the parents its about me and them, if I fuck up, they fuck up and if they fuck they will probably end up in a young offenders institution, the kids I have met so far simply couldn't handle that.

It's exhilarating and horrifying...stories of self harm, suicide, abortions....fucking hell what has happened in the world that a young person has so much of a story at 15 years old.

So far my new role has scared the shit out of me, social work has always appealed but boy oh boy this is something else. I am in the process now, having met my mentees, of devising a scheme of work that is both educational and interesting so that they will come into the unit and want to study literacy, numeracy and ICT, they now trust me and I really really can't let them down.

I'm knackered, stressed and unsure this role is for me however my time with the lost youth is almost magical, they have amazing energy, sense of humour and above all else a will to learn turns out they are not as lost as I thought. End of week one and I had an indepth debrief because of a difficult visit, I was encouraged to own my feelings and trust my intuition...wanky yes but at least I am able to have some sort of contol over whether I own or am owned.

I leave you with one of my favourite quotes...'It's easier to build a child than it is to repair an adult'

Hope I don't let them down.....

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Leader of the pack.....

New MotoGP season brings with it a sadness. Simoncellis death last season was a massive blow to both the sport and his fans, me included. I still find it hard to believe he won't pop up on the screen all big haired and full of attitude....he won't and the new season starts without him.

I love MotoGP all three classes bring me such joy. I have never ridden a motorbike, not really bothered about ever doing so but there is something just so alluring about the MotoGP. I love the stats...the engineering the tactics the riders, although to be fair there are a couple of riders I'm not overly keen on.

The new season brings with it new challenges...new tyres, new restrictions new riders. I have watched the free practices to get to know these things. Will Rossi get that stroppy Ducati sorted? Will Stoner ace the Qatar track again? Will Cal Crutchlow finish higher than 10th, lots to consider, lots to excite.

So with the qualifying under way here's to another great season.....will it be the same without Simoncelli? Maybe but I will miss him all the same.

May the Brits be marvellous and the Italians reckless....just how I like it.

Giorni felici


RIP Sic x

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

6lb 13 and a 1/4

I'm not really sure what this blog thing is for now....only really come here when I'm lost for something to do or say...it's easier to write something when you're a bit miserable and to be honest I haven't been miserable for ages.

So what to write, if anything? Well if this was a diary entry it would include all manner of stuff...moving house again, big boy moving out again....new job starting...new life to look forward to. I have mentioned some if not all of these things previously...

Sold my car last night...funny really as it was only ever something that got me to and from places, wasn't particularly connected to it...no cuddly toys or funny bumper stickers or pink fluffy dice, it was just a car and yet as I sit here, watching the football I feel quite reflective. I guess cars and big possessions represent a moment in time and physical 'memory' of a time gone by.

The snake sheds its skin...I sold my car, a distant connection to another time. I don't feel sad...feel lighter, refreshed a bit like how I imagine the snake does when it sheds it dry unwanted skin. Wanky clap trap...bah!

My big boy moves out again next week...he's aiming to go back to uni in September after it not quite falling into place first time round...our relationship has changed...his long term girlfriend is the light in his life...I'm not...my role is different now...I'm not quite sure what I am meant to do...but fumble along I will and it will all work out. He will be gone again by next week...that feeling never goes, when I dropped him off at uni last year I was empty...heartbroken....he was fine, of course he was.

My first born baby boy, all grow'd up. He's just like his Mum in almost every way...poor child. There's the key...child....he's not...he's a man now.

Well my darling son...this is it...it's the big wide world that awaits your return.You will of course be marvellous, funny and witty. You will of course be surly moody and rude...you will of course shine.

Dunno if he would remember but we used to have this thing...you know when you make up stories...he was Puddington Pie and he would always end up with the stars in the sky......

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Love you Dodjer.... xxxx