Hmmm...interesting couple of weeks, the unit where I ply my trade is under threat, the managers been suspended the head has resigned and the buildings lease runs out in 6 months.....fucks sake!
It seems chaos is the future.
Not a lot I can say, I am frantically trying to find other work, calling on old acquaintances, just to cover my arse. I can't believe the complete failure of any leadership or direction. Staff morale is, well to say low would be insulting they're well fucked off, I don't really consider myself part of this as I am still green, but boy am I feeling it. Anxious and stressed it's impossible to imagine I would be in this situation 4 weeks ago.....
And yet, let's not forget it's not about me or the other tutors, managers, head teacher, what about the young people we are there to support? Well, I can't answer that, they are blissfully unaware and as we engage, teach and mentor these fantastic kids we are hawking a lie, a bit fat lie.
So alright the kids won't be dumped and they will be found somewhere to go but surely the systems that let them down in the first place should function in some orderly, safe way...but oh no, too much to ask. The unit will close the kids moved on, the time and energy and frankly emotional input all of us have invested will be lost....again.
I'm fucking angry, not just because I left a job where I was secure but these kids who need stability and invest trust into the unit, and us, will be shoved around again. Removed from mainstream to be fucked around in the alternative system, set up for young people like them.
A couple of weeks ago we had a big incident in the unit, won't go into details but suffice it to say a young person with mental health issues finally blew, where is the support for him, no point trying to educate and engage someone when what they actually need is intensive psychological help. I am supposed to be a tutor, turns out I am the only support, in some cases, for whole families, who have disappeared, social services trying so hard to keep families together have forgotten that when they keep them together they need support, and loads of it.
I was told it costs £60,000 a year per student to run our unit.....fuck me! Why we are not investing in mental health services, intervention schemes within mainstream school and frankly decent teachers I will never know, I earn no where near that amount and I am currently supporting 5 young people, their families and their schools, I am not a qualified social worker or counsellor and yet I am trusted to carry out these roles without supervision, good job I care, good job I am safe.
Anyway, what has come to light in the last 5 weeks is that I still want to work with our young people, they are great, no really they are. Damaged, yeah but real, very very real. Next time you feel a bit shit about stuff have a little look in the mirror, just ask yourself how real you really are, how much you really feel, how disconnected from reality you really are, there's a lot and I mean a lot of shit going on out there people, wake up and smell the fucking coffee.......