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Friday, 29 June 2012

Troublesome Waters........

Through the medium of Richard Hawley I write....he's my new bitch. Cohen-esque with a hint of irony I like him, his sound, his Johnny Cash regard. Anyway, listening to him as I type...not that you needed to know that but thought I'd let you in!

Well what's happening then......a shit load but won't go into all that. I write because I need to vent about iTunes....yeah yeah I know everyone does but still we stay....hooked in by the fear of stepping away. Why do they make it soooo frustrating...I hate iTunes, with a passion the mere opening up of the silvery grey evilness makes me cross and yet I have sat here for the past hour syncing my iPod, chuntering a bit, supported by my other half so I don't explode. The  last time I went anywhere near the device I wiped 16,000 plus songs off my iTunes fault, thought I had saved it to an online storage place, I hadn't, and yes I did cry. I, of course blamed everyone else especially Apple. I don't manage with being told to do very well so Apple and their bloody rules and OCD ways drives me bonkers.

What's the alternative? A while ago I spent quite a lot of my time seeking alternatives, unsuccessfully. They have me caught in their grubby, sadistic little world of which I just don't fit. The answer will be, I suspect that I download what music I have managed to rescue and put it on my phone, my lovely phone, which is joyfully Apple free, android don't give a shit what you do with your music, just download it and listen, what joy!

The loss of my back catalogue was frankly devastating each time it came to mind I had a hollow emptiness inside never to be filled again, many tracks borrowed from pals, funk tunes I still hadn't listened to, now gone, no record of song, artist or label...*holds back tears* but maybe there is the key, music I had never listened to....trouble is with MP3s is just that, you have it and day to day shuffle takes you through a heady mix of tunes. Who'd have thought that Suicidal Tendencies could ever follow Erykah Bahdu.....I miss the ritual of removing an album from it's sleeve, the smell, the delicate nature of the process, the crackle. When I moved out of my house last year my albums stayed, certainly not by choice but there they sit all dusty and unplayed, gentle negotiation required, I hope to get them special edition Smiths EP...still in cellophane, oh woe! Pet Sounds, bought in a charity shop years ago willing me to collect it and play it...oh woe. Picture disc of Never Mind The bollocks....enough now.

So music today, not the stuff of bitches and hos but the nature of control. As I work out how to break free from Apples evil grasp I continue to rebuild my lost library, wouldn't have happened in the old days, even if you lent a pal an album you could still ask for it I am left with nowt, nada, fuck all.

So my friends if you haven't backed up your music collections, do so NOW. Oh and if you use online storage don't forget to tick the mp3 box to make sure mp3s are actually saved.......*sobs*

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Rise again.....

Am emotional day today, Fathers Day is always a toughie plus today is the day that the Simoncelli Foundation single is released for download.

A day of fund raising at Silverstone has already raised £250,000 such was the appeal of Marco.

As I sit and watch the British MotoGP it is still crazy to think Marco has gone. I genuinely miss his cheeky little face and his unfettered talent. MotoGP hasn't been the same for me, but still I watch, still I feel butterflies when the race starts, still I shout at Lorenzo and Stoner, still I worship Rossi, but there is a hole, a big hole.

The single is ok, it's done by The Rainband a Manc sound from a Manc band. James Toseland, a gifted pianist, plays on the single. Music has a fantastic way of touching people and I hope it raises loads of money for a very worthy cause.

Well as the warm up lap comes to an end I long to see Cal Crutchlow do well, doubtful today as he's hurting, but still I watch....still have butterflies....still worship Rossi....

RIP Sic.....

Papa was a rolling stone.......

Fathers Day.....a reflective day for me and many. My Dad, no longer here was a great man. I have waxed lyrical in other posts so won't go on.

Still miss him, still love him, still talk to him.


Saturday, 16 June 2012

Heaven knows I'm miserable now.....

In a week where I've been told to fuck off, Harry's departure and my failure to shine in an interview you'd expect me to be a bit grumpy. I'm not. Sure, I was cross by that harsh rebuff from a student, miffed by Harry's sacking ( Capello next??) And my failure to get a job I should be getting just reminds me that life ain't quite as simple as I want it to be.....and that's just fine.

The job was never going to be mine,. When there's an internal candidate you gotta be shit hot, I was not. My interviewers techniques were poor, sloppy questions which merited only one word answers and the atmosphere of the school, which is a failing school was not one of joy.

While waiting in the staff room for my interview a governor came in, old deaf and full of himself. He bemoaned the lack of people who showed up for the boot fair, complained about lack of interest from parents and then ranted about foreigners 'coming over here taking our jobs'....I kid you not. What made that worse, he was talking to a history teacher who agreed with his every word  and an Aussie supply she felt great!!

Hey ho, I didn't get the job, I'm grateful. A school should feel exciting even if its failing. This place did not. The kids I met were of course awesome, trapped in an establishment that is failing them....the lesson I took went well, the kids were interesting and funny, as I left the classroom a heavily made up girl told me I was a 'well good teacher I actually learned summat'....that'll do for me, that's what its  about .

I am a good teacher actually, Harry leaving was probably always going to happen and that young person who told me to fuck off? He didn't mean it, if I had experienced half if what he had I would tell everyone I come across to fuck off.

So I am not grumpy today,  I am grateful. Grateful to have a happy life, a supportive partner and three great kids in my life. Nothing really matters more than that.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Better the devil you know......?

Never thought I'd use a Kylie song as a blog entry title....fucks sake....anyway interview was shite...on their part and mine. The lesson went were fab...its the adults that piss me off. Poor technique... poor questions.....pretty sure I ain't got the job.

Serves me right in a way....thought I had it in the bag......hey ho....back to TES like every other disheartened fucker in education ......

Sat outside in a pub garden on me own with a pint of lager shandy and a steak sarnie.....rock n roll!

Wonder how else I can save the youth......*puts thinking cap on...*

Dark side of the moon......

Got an interview today....back to mainstream.
Got to do it...could really do with getting it.

Another new beginning....maybe!

Friday, 8 June 2012

Man in the mirror.....

When I look in the mirror what I see is ok...oh sure I would change a few things, teeth need doing and a few age spots could do with disappearing but I'm ok. When I look in the mirror I do not see a white middle aged woman, I see me.

When I meet new people I do not see their flaws, their insecurities, their troubles, I see the person. I care not the colour of their skin, their accent their heritage.

When I see a person I feel their warmth, see their smile hear their voice....I care not where they are from.

I don't really understand discrimination...racism...I just don't get it. I've tried to understand but to no avail.

I hope the Euros are about football...I hope the good people overwhelm the morons.

That's all I got today

Peace out people......

Saturday, 2 June 2012

Oh look there's a rape machine.....

And so dear reader/s my first effort at a gig review. Well its not really review more of a look back over my Friday night at the Kentish Forum.

Cue back story.......I've always loved Gary Numan...strange and talented a heady mix for a teenage girl. Deep meaningful/less lyrics with a secret grinding guitar.....from the moment I heard Tubeway Army I knew me and Gary would get on. Never saw him live...I lived in Cornwall then St Austell Coliseum the only 'big' venue.</p>

Back to yesterday...... So me and my fella headed up to London town to meet up Brian and Joel...not their real names...comedy names... I'll explain another time. Surrounded by 40 something men dressed in black we supped a cider or two and headed across the road. I was quite excited Brian and Joel are life long fans..and their calm exteriors gave way to school boy excitement the closer we got.

My first observation was the crowd.... not many gals and frankly chaps if your going to a Numan gig to pull don't bother!!
They were a quiet understated bunch...a smattering of black occasional Goth boot and skinny black jeans was the tribes uniform.

As we went in I had a little smile to myself...Gary last! I was a teenager again...for a second or two.

I liked the venue...small enough to feel intimate big enough to cope. Beer then wait for Gary to dazzle!

Berserker opened the set....oh...summat not quite right with the vocals volume...

I'll be honest now I didn't know a lot of the first few songs he stuff and songs from an era that wasn't my Gary connection. The new stuff is good...grindy a bit scuzzy back to the guitar sound I loved so!

Unfortunately we were stood near the steps and close to the bar....what is it with people... gig starts and they have to have a beer...after being shoved about once too often and having several spillages go down my front, I moved... better view and room to throw an understated shape or two...hmm it was then that I realised the crowd were still...literally! A head nod and raising of the arms but nothing else, ok I appreciate that Gary Numan isn't going to have you moshing it up but really? It was an autistic convention of the highest order.... really socially/ psychologically interesting.

Anyway...the sound was difficult to ignore... could hardly hear Garys vocals and what with the two dicks in front if me talking continuously there was a danger that the gig could be remembered as a disaster.

Thankfully it improved, or I got used to it and by the time Down in The Park was played I was in some kinda heaven. That was the stand out track...heavy, dark and brooding just how I like it! Gary even head banged for a bit... he reminded me at times of Brian from Placebo, physically and the band had summat too.

Anyway, next best track was Are Friends Electric? Another good tune and executed well...

I could talk about how Brian and me tried to rough up the autistic party by barging through the very rigid crowd to get to the front but I won't...Seems Numanoids are very territorial!! ..I've said enough!

Good gig... Gary looked Fab...the band rocked... but sadly sound needed sorting. There, that was my Friday night with Gary Numan, my gorgeous man...Brian, Joel and tanned Keith.

Cracking time was had by all ...kebab on the way home...happy fucking days!! :)